Can you successfully date a non-vegan?
So I've never had a relationship last more than 10 months since I moved to Louisville. In my 20's/early 30's I had 2 serious relationships of 8 years and 2 years.
As a result of grad school at U of L, I moved to Kentucky and ended the 2 year romance. I never thought I would stay, but cost of living (compared to New England--yikes!) was cheap and the fact that Kentucky paid teachers better (they pay even worse up North, if you can believe that!) so staying seemed like the best option as a single woman.
I taught at several schools in the area, until my last job. I won't name name's, but it's one of the most expensive schools in Louisville, I guess that is it's claim to fame:)
Now I've been vegetarian since I moved down here. I have my sister (Rescue Ranger) and my FBnL (Favorite Brother-in-Law) to thank for exposing me to that fabulous lifestyle change. (Thanks, guys!:)
I started dabbling with veganism in grad school, but it didn't stick until a couple years ago.
I was working in a wineshop at the time, and we had wine tastings every month. We would also pair the wines with cheeses, cheese spreads, and artisanal bread.
At this shop, I was surrounded with wine, cheese, crackers with milk powder, gelato, fresh raviolis, and even pizzas! I started little by little being a "bad vegan" by buying cheese to go with my wine for after my shift.
But the switch happened while I was working at the wineshop. It was based on a statement my FBnL made....
"When it becomes about animal rights, veganism will stick."
I began to think about the quality of life for the animal, and that's when that switch happened.
I had lived on a dairy farm in my 20's and so I know first hand the suffering of dairy cows. (Read my first post on Vegan Now....Another Life Then).
People still ask me if I miss ice cream, cheese, doughnuts....
I can honestly say I do not. It grosses me out, when I think about the hurt/pain involved....it sickens me, it doesn't make me desire it! My 5 minutes of oral pleasure, does not equal a lifetime of pain. And that's what I tell people.
I also ask about karma, Do they believe in it? Most people will say "Yes". Well if you believe in it, why would you willingly ingest bad karma, in a body that you want to have good karma happen to. This makes perfect sense to me, and you are not accusing them....just planting the seed that they will definitely be thinking about next time they eat meat or eat a product from a dairy cow, then they will decide.
Anyway, I digress of what I originally thought this post would be about.
So mostly I've dated omnivores. This usually entails going to an ethnic restaurant and sharing a dish or two. I am a big proponent of sharing. Once in a while my date wants to have a meal of their own, because it must have meat or dairy...so I get my own. Once again, I love sharing so this is definitely a 'no boner':)
I've been on 3 vegan dates in my life. I've dated a lot, so that's really sad.
So the first vegan date was awesome. Nice looking, charming, only kissing at the end. We went out the next night and the bottom dropped out. Poly. Yes, so you know what that means lots of vegan sides, but only one main vegan dish.
The second vegan date was a longer process. We had met years ago, dated a little, fizzled out, and then decided to try again. The first time we met again, we split a vegan meal, but I just figured he was an omnivore that was sharing a meal with me. Months went by and we were texting again and come to find out he 'said' he was vegan.
(Now, I'm weird about people saying they're vegan to date you just so they can bone you. That happened with my last boyfriend, he was 'vegan', then as soon as we broke up there was a steak in the fridge and the leather coats came out.....wtf! have some fucking backbone!)
So we went out a couple more times. Every time we went out I said to myself "I'll give him one more chance". I tried, but decided that we are just not a good fit.
My third vegan date, was at Monnik....I love their jackfruit nuggets! We had a great dinner, but there was no spark. I think he must have felt the same way, because neither of us have pursued anything else.
So I don't know where I stand on the whole dating thing, but I do know that having someone that understands and supports your way of life is pretty important. It's like a conservative and a liberal getting together. Yes, it can happen (I actually know a couple like that), but it would be extremely hard.
I've had others say "You just haven't met the right person yet". Now I don't believe in Disney, but if I did then being vegan would significantly fuck with those odds!
So would I prefer to date only vegans....for sure....I would probably be more tolerant of their quirks. But 'til that Disney-day arrives, I'll just continue dating for fun or FWB:)